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Why Marriage? Because anything less is not equal.

At a time when people in our state have amended our constitution to ban any recognition of same-sex couples, many people are asking why marriage? Why don't we just fight for civil unions in a couple of years like they did in Vermont and Connecticut? Or maybe we should just try to get them to give LGBT couples the same benefits as marriage, but use a different term that doesn't offend people. And some people are saying they don't want to get married, so aren't interested in the marriage equality issue. The MEGA Family Project seeks to educate people on why both straight and same-sex couples should have the right to choose whether civil marriage is right for them.

If we fight for civil unions or anything less than full civil marriage, then we are not only fighting for second-class citizenship status, but we will also lose out on over 1,138 federal rights, protections, and responsibilities that only the institution of marriage provides. According to the 2000 census, Georgia has over 19,000 same-sex couples; therefore, same-sex couples with and without children are a part of Georgia's families. We need full access to civil marriage so we can protect our relationships and our families with the laws our government offers people who choose to marry. Equality belongs to all families.

No civil union, domestic partnership, or legal arrangement can duplicate the legal status of marriage.

Many people have said that gay and lesbian couples should not be allowed to marry because it disrupts the traditional definition of marriage and offends certain religious faiths. The truth is the definition of marriage has changed throughout time to adjust to societal changes. For instance, at one time marriage was more of an economic arrangement, and women were treated as property--- love was not part of the equation. More recently, public opinion and religious beliefs were used to justify outlawing inter-racial marriage, but these laws were eventually overturned by the Supreme Court in 1967 (Loving v. Virginia) when the Court ruled that the "freedom to marry" belongs to all Americans.

Marriage equality is about the right to enter into the state-created institution of civil marriage only. Civil and religious marriage are not the same thing. Already there are religious institutions willing to marry same-sex couples in their churches, but this has no legal meaning. At the same time, there are other religious institutions that are opposed to same-sex marriage, and they would never be forced to perform a same-sex marriage because of separation of church and state.

The MEGA Family Project is not interested in challenging religious beliefs or customs because we believe in freedom of religious expression AND a separation of church and state. In fact, when same-sex couples are able to legally marry, churches will still retain the right to decide which marriages they wish to perform and recognize. We only want the right to civil marriage. The churches can decide for themselves who they'll marry.

Marriage, accepted in all 50 states.

Civil unions accepted in 2.

Full marriage equality=full citizenship

ABOUT CIVIL UNIONS

Currently, Vermont and Connecticut are the only states that performs and recognize civil unions. Civil unions from Vermont and Connecticut are not recognized by any other state at this time. So, if a couple who has a civil union from Vermont was vacationing in Georgia, and one of them experienced a medical emergency while in Georgia, it could be disastrous because they are not entitled to any legal recognition of their relationship in this state. Not only would they not have the right to make medical decisions, but the healthy partner could be kept out of the hospital room -their legal status of stranger provides no rights. It would be necessary to have a copy of their medical power of attorney to ensure their rights, and even these documents are sometimes successfully challenged in nonfriendly states.

Civil unions are not simply gay marriages by another name. Civil unions only allow the rights legislated by the state. Currently in Vermont, civil unions provide residents approximately 300 rights and benefits only within the state of Vermont. Residents of Vermont who have civil union status are still denied the over 1,138 federal rights, benefits, and protections offered by a civil marriage license.

When legislators in Massachusetts attempted to offer civil unions instead of full marriage rights to their gay citizens, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court said using the term civil union instead of civil marriage would create a demonstratable assignment of same-sex couples to a second-class status. Civil unions are very much a separate and unequal solution to the discrimination faced by gay couples who would like to marry. Only the civil institution of marriage will grant couples full equality under the law.

Why is the Word Marriage So Important?

The obvious answer is that marriage is the only word used by our government to give couples over 1,138 federal rights, and another 300 state benefits. Beyond that, marriage is important because it is the word and ceremony that is widely respected in our society. When our friends have a commitment ceremony, or go to Vermont for a civil union, we are happy for them, but we know it is not the same as marriage; and it certainly isn't offered the same degree of respect by the wider community. Employers, businesses, friends, family members, and others don't give it the same status as marriage, if they recognize it at all.

Marriage is a romantic institution that implies commitment for life, till death due us part. When our heterosexual friends and family members get married, it is treated like the happiest day of their lives. When we get civil unioned, have commitment ceremonies, or sign up for a domestic partner registry, there isn't the same kind of celebration or recognition that married people get, not even from our own community. Our status is still second-class, and many people aren't sure how to treat our relationships. The titles of husband, wife, and spouse carry so much more meaning in our society. Think about how you are treated when you discuss your partner compared to when other people speak of their husband or wife. We can't ignore that these titles are very important in our society. We deserve both legal and social acknowledgment of the significance of our relationships.

What About Those of Us Who Don't Want to Get Married?

Well, first of all, we are not fighting so you have to get married. We think two consenting adults should have the choice to marry. We simply want to make that choice available to LGBT couples. Also, we believe that if we win the right to marry, other laws like employment nondiscrimination will follow because we will have a designated legal status.

We also believe that when many couples become educated about the legal and social benefits of marriage, they will likely choose to marry. Some of the benefits entitled to married people include:

Automatic access to healthcare benefits offered to married couples, and not having to be lucky enough to work for a company that offers domestic partner benefits.
Not having to pay taxes on health care coverage and other benefits offered by spouses' employers.
Automatic right to spouse's estate if the spouse dies without a will.
Right to receive Social Security Survivor benefits if a spouse dies.
Access to the married car insurance rate or not having to pay more when both spouses plan to drive a rental car.
Exempt from having to pay estate taxes if one spouse dies and transfers the estate to another.

Did you know that every same-sex person who owns property through joint tenant risks losing his or her home to estate taxes because the total value of the house, minus the portion the surviving tenant can prove he or she contributed, is taxed through estate taxes if one partner dies? How many of us have money sitting in the bank to unexpectedly have to pay estate taxes on our homes?

Married couples have the automatic right to make burial and funeral arrangements. Gay couples are considered legal strangers and have no rights unless they have spent the money to create legal documents, such as a will or advanced health care directives, which can be challenged by family members.
Right to sue for wrongful death and infliction of emotional distress if a spouse is killed or injured
Right to live with your spouse in a senior citizen retirement home
Right to marital privilege to not testify against your spouse (Rosie O'Donnell did not have this privilege and her partner Kelli was forced to testify against Rosie and reveal personal conversations and correspondence between them).

LGBT individuals pay federal, state, and local taxes just like straight people do. Yet, the unavailability of civil marriage means that we can't partake in the many programs and benefits that our tax dollars should afford us. This is Taxation with Discrimination.

This is only a tiny selection of the rights and benefits offered to married couples. For a complete listing of federal marriage rights, go to the National Center for Lesbian Rights web page (www.nclrights.org). Individual states typically offer another 300 rights and benefits. Don't let our opponents fool you into thinking if you just hire an attorney you can get the same rights as heterosexual married couples.

Marriage Equality California Board Member and author Davina Kotulski, PhD, puts it best in her book "Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage" when she says this:

'Marriage is not just a word. It's a word embedded in a whole cultural system that we are daily asked to participate in, while being excluded from. Marriage equality is about people, regardless of sexual orientation, having access to the same rights, responsibilities, protections, and obligations as every other married couple. When LGBT people become able to legally marry, they will be married, not gay-married, and not same-sex married. They'll just be simply married.

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